Chandler and Monica?! Oh, this is unbelievable! How long have you known?

posted 3 weeks ago with 4 notes
biinarykid:

stunningpicture:

Cookie in a milk cup.

I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS PICTURE AT ALL

biinarykid:

stunningpicture:

Cookie in a milk cup.

I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS PICTURE AT ALL

via biinarykid · originally by stunningpicture
biinarykid:

stunningpicture:

Milk in cookie cup.

I GET THE PHOTO NOW….

biinarykid:

stunningpicture:

Milk in cookie cup.

I GET THE PHOTO NOW….

via biinarykid · originally by stunningpicture

itsstuckyinmyhead:

Best Tumblr Responses 

buckaroobutcher:

violethuntr:

homesteadilee:

pieandhotdogs:

thedoctorswand:

pieandhotdogs:

thedoctorswand:

pieandhotdogs:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.
Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.
So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.
Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.
We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.
Knock this shit off.
Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.
Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!
With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

ACTUALLY, dear friend, as someone who identifies as polysexual, I’m going to let you know that you are incorrect. Bisexuality and Polysexuality are nearly interchangeable. “Polysexual” is used as the opposing umbrella term to “monosexual”. Polysexuality includes bisexuality and pansexuality. I am polysexual. I am bisexual. I use “polysexual” to describe myself, because people like you want to claim that I am attracted to people that I am not when I describe myself as bisexual. I have to use another fucking label, because asslords think that they understand bisexuality when they obviously don’t. Get out of here with that nonsense. 
thedoctorswandsoloontherocks

The hell are you talking about? First, I wann alet you know that I am honetly completely open-minded and I don’t wanna take anyone their sexuality away or tell them what they have to do, but I really wanted to say that you guys can’t just change the meaning of terms to something that you like better.. Of course, if you are polysexual you can also be bisexual! And yes, you have to use the term polysexual to describe your sexuality, because bisexuality is already taken to describe people that are strictly into men and women! I really don’t wanna sound rude, but have you actually read what I said there? It’s bi! Bi means “two” and years back when there was only the definition of male and female people said “Alright, this is bisexuality” And you can’t just go ahead and say “Nah, I don’t like that, I will now claim bisexuality to be something different!” So, simply by definition this is why you say polysexual to something that is similar to bisexuality but is not the same!

The definition of bisexuality has been “attraction to more than one gender” for decades you moron.The “Bi” in “bisexual” does mean “two”; two forms of attraction (attraction to the same gender and attraction to other genders). The definition of “heterosexual” is “attraction to a gender other than one’s own”. The definition of “homosexual” is “attraction to a gender similar to one’s own”. Neither one of these definitions mentions male or female or any particular gender, so why the hell would the definition of bisexuality??? Stop trying to talk over us. Stop trying to erase us. Stop trying to tell us who we are. This is why days like today exist.

Now this is just mean, alright! I tried to state my point really calm and polite and all I get back is this?
I am not trying to talk anyone over or to erase anyone! This makes me really sad, if I hear something like that! You know, I do know about bisexuality, may it be the “wrong” way or not, we will not come to terms over that, but I am aware of this, I am not disciminating anyone, and please, if you as a bisexual feel like people don’t recognize your sexual orientation enough, look at aro-aces like me..! Not trying to make it like “Oh I have it so much worse than you!” just saying.. I would never ever try to talk you out of everything! I would never!! 

"I would never ever try to talk you out of everything! I would never!” 
Then what do you call this?
"And yes, you have to use the term polysexual to describe your sexuality, because bisexuality is already taken to describe people that are strictly into men and women!"
What is that, if not trying to talk me out of using the term that describes me???? I GAVE you sources for the bisexual community’s definition of bisexuality (which, again, has been the same since the late 1970’s), and yet you still insist on policing my sexuality by claiming that we “will not come to terms over that”. The only reason we aren’t coming to terms, is because you’re refusing to listen to the bisexuals who are talking to you. 
And don’t fucking use your status as aromantic or asexual as a way to get off the hook. Whether you intend it or not, you’re taking the conversation away from the issue at hand and focusing it elsewhere. That’s disrespectful to me as the bisexual person you’re talking to, it’s disrespectful to the bisexual community, and it’s disrespectful to the aro-ace community. What sucks the most about biphobia, is that it is rampant within the MOGAI community as well as without, and your little rants are only serving to prove that point.

Reblogging for receipts, as it were.
One goddamned day without a kid calling Laci Green’s unnecessary and baseless redefinition of bisexuality the real one. Just one, that’s all I’d like.

So this is why bi visibility day exists. Lemme know when you’ve finished arguing who I’m attracted to…

Please don’t misrepresent the asexual community like that, thedoctorswand.Solo, I’m super sorry they hijacked your post and just want to apologize to everyone who is bisexual, poly sexual and/or pansexual for that bullshit thedoctorswand just tried to spout. Aromatics and asexuals of ALL people should understand that the people with the identity make the definition, and I’m really upset that someone actually said all of this.God, assholes like this are why bisexuality awareness posts are even still necessary.

Thank you guys, seriously! I mean it, thank you for letting me go through all of this crap! Being in this situation of being attacked for something that wasn’t supposed to come across a mean as people took it and being accused of things I wouldn’t even have thought about doing, I now can feel with everyone treated like this on any post on this website. You probably don’t care, but I learned a lot about not immediately giving people a shitty time just because they were wrong! It has been an awesome time with all of you, so thanks :) 
Oh and for everyone who might hate the asexual community now just because of me, don’t! I’m not part of that community, I’m not part of any community, I’m just asexual, nothing more!

buckaroobutcher:

violethuntr:

homesteadilee:

pieandhotdogs:

thedoctorswand:

pieandhotdogs:

thedoctorswand:

pieandhotdogs:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.

Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.

So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.

Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.

We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.

Knock this shit off.

Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.

Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!

With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

ACTUALLY, dear friend, as someone who identifies as polysexual, I’m going to let you know that you are incorrect. Bisexuality and Polysexuality are nearly interchangeable. “Polysexual” is used as the opposing umbrella term to “monosexual”. Polysexuality includes bisexuality and pansexuality. I am polysexual. I am bisexual. I use “polysexual” to describe myself, because people like you want to claim that I am attracted to people that I am not when I describe myself as bisexual. I have to use another fucking label, because asslords think that they understand bisexuality when they obviously don’t. Get out of here with that nonsense. 

thedoctorswandsoloontherocks

The hell are you talking about? First, I wann alet you know that I am honetly completely open-minded and I don’t wanna take anyone their sexuality away or tell them what they have to do, but I really wanted to say that you guys can’t just change the meaning of terms to something that you like better.. Of course, if you are polysexual you can also be bisexual! And yes, you have to use the term polysexual to describe your sexuality, because bisexuality is already taken to describe people that are strictly into men and women! I really don’t wanna sound rude, but have you actually read what I said there? It’s bi! Bi means “two” and years back when there was only the definition of male and female people said “Alright, this is bisexuality” And you can’t just go ahead and say “Nah, I don’t like that, I will now claim bisexuality to be something different!” So, simply by definition this is why you say polysexual to something that is similar to bisexuality but is not the same!

The definition of bisexuality has been “attraction to more than one gender” for decades you moron.The “Bi” in “bisexual” does mean “two”; two forms of attraction (attraction to the same gender and attraction to other genders). The definition of “heterosexual” is “attraction to a gender other than one’s own”. The definition of “homosexual” is “attraction to a gender similar to one’s own”. Neither one of these definitions mentions male or female or any particular gender, so why the hell would the definition of bisexuality???

Stop trying to talk over us. Stop trying to erase us. Stop trying to tell us who we are. This is why days like today exist.

Now this is just mean, alright! I tried to state my point really calm and polite and all I get back is this?

I am not trying to talk anyone over or to erase anyone! This makes me really sad, if I hear something like that! You know, I do know about bisexuality, may it be the “wrong” way or not, we will not come to terms over that, but I am aware of this, I am not disciminating anyone, and please, if you as a bisexual feel like people don’t recognize your sexual orientation enough, look at aro-aces like me..! Not trying to make it like “Oh I have it so much worse than you!” just saying.. I would never ever try to talk you out of everything! I would never!!

"I would never ever try to talk you out of everything! I would never!”

Then what do you call this?

"And yes, you have to use the term polysexual to describe your sexuality, because bisexuality is already taken to describe people that are strictly into men and women!"

What is that, if not trying to talk me out of using the term that describes me???? I GAVE you sources for the bisexual community’s definition of bisexuality (which, again, has been the same since the late 1970’s), and yet you still insist on policing my sexuality by claiming that we “will not come to terms over that”. The only reason we aren’t coming to terms, is because you’re refusing to listen to the bisexuals who are talking to you.

And don’t fucking use your status as aromantic or asexual as a way to get off the hook. Whether you intend it or not, you’re taking the conversation away from the issue at hand and focusing it elsewhere. That’s disrespectful to me as the bisexual person you’re talking to, it’s disrespectful to the bisexual community, and it’s disrespectful to the aro-ace community. What sucks the most about biphobia, is that it is rampant within the MOGAI community as well as without, and your little rants are only serving to prove that point.

Reblogging for receipts, as it were.

One goddamned day without a kid calling Laci Green’s unnecessary and baseless redefinition of bisexuality the real one. Just one, that’s all I’d like.

So this is why bi visibility day exists. Lemme know when you’ve finished arguing who I’m attracted to…

Please don’t misrepresent the asexual community like that, thedoctorswand.
Solo, I’m super sorry they hijacked your post and just want to apologize to everyone who is bisexual, poly sexual and/or pansexual for that bullshit thedoctorswand just tried to spout. Aromatics and asexuals of ALL people should understand that the people with the identity make the definition, and I’m really upset that someone actually said all of this.
God, assholes like this are why bisexuality awareness posts are even still necessary.

Thank you guys, seriously! I mean it, thank you for letting me go through all of this crap! Being in this situation of being attacked for something that wasn’t supposed to come across a mean as people took it and being accused of things I wouldn’t even have thought about doing, I now can feel with everyone treated like this on any post on this website. You probably don’t care, but I learned a lot about not immediately giving people a shitty time just because they were wrong! It has been an awesome time with all of you, so thanks :)

Oh and for everyone who might hate the asexual community now just because of me, don’t! I’m not part of that community, I’m not part of any community, I’m just asexual, nothing more!

via buckaroobutcher · originally by soloontherocks
ofbonesandblood:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.
Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.
So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.
Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.
We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.
Knock this shit off.
Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.
Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!
With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

Are you a bisexual?

1) Solo: I’m shocked that you’ve yet to bite their head off for the ‘my dear friend’ comment. Talk about a patronizing way to start a reply.
2) ‘My dear friend’ (aka thedoctorswand): Let me just say that I really hope you’re a troll. But in case you’re not…there are so many issues here.
First, you’re ignoring the definition of bisexuality according to pretty much every bisexual organization out there, the definition they’ve used going back to pretty much as far back as the word ‘bisexual’ was established. That’s bullshit in and of itself.
Second, you’re ignoring how word derivation works. Yes, ‘bi’ does mean ‘two’—but terms don’t necessarily mean the literal combination of their parts. There are other factors to consider—for example, changing levels of knowledge over time. A similar example would be the use of ‘Oriental’ or ‘The Orient’. East Asia was originally called the Orient because 1) you went east from Europe to get there, and 2) people thought the world was flat, so if you went East to get there, then you couldn’t go West and get to the same place. At some point, we figured out that the world is indeed round and that, from the US at least, that region is actually closer to West than East—and yet we still understand what it means when a historical fiction novel talks about their 1920s Hollywood starlet going to the Orient, and indeed would be confused if that suddenly meant she was travelling to France (which is actually east of the US). Generally, once a word is in common use, we shift the definition to meet changing levels of knowledge, instead of shifting the word.
Third: Even if your literal interpretation of the ‘bi’ in ‘bisexuality’ was accurate (which it’s not), why does that mean men and women? Why doesn’t it mean men and nonbinary folks, for example? It looks like you didn’t think that particular definition through all that thoroughly, to be honest, which weakens your argument overall.
Finally: If you look at a thingby a total stranger which 1) is well sourced and obviously researched, 2) is obviously pretty personal to them, and 3) asks you not to do a thing, and your first response is “Hey I’m gonna do that thing!”? I really suggest not calling them your ‘dear friend’. It’s absolutely patronizing and demeaning to take such a familiar tone with a total stranger, and indeed it would be gross to take that tone with an actual close friend if you were doing so in the context of doing a thing that they’d already firmly asked you not to do (with actual research to back them up on why they aren’t OK with you doing it, even). Doing so is a good way to get people really mad at you really fast.

Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!
Alright, I will apologize for what I said. It was stupid to say everything I said and I accept what I’ve been told.
Look, now I learned something, isn’t that what this day would be for? Not to shout at people that do not know it better, but to explain it to them. I’m sorry for making everyone mad and I wish I wouldn’t have been that stupid but I can’t change it. I can just say that I will not do that anymore and that I’ve learnt from it but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down and actually talk to people, because this text actually made me calm down and understand, not the other accusations and all that mean stuff. I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!

My answer:


"you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down"
*pukes*
we don’t have an obligation to be ~nice~ to the people talking over us and erasing our identities
to reiterate: go fuck yourself thedoctorswand and sit the fuck down the next time you want to talk about something you’re entirely ignorant about

No worries, I will!
But first.. really guys, erasing your identities? 
Yeah, that was definitely my goal.. Because you mean so much to me..!

ofbonesandblood:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.

Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.

So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.

Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.

We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.

Knock this shit off.

Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.

Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!

With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

Are you a bisexual?

1) Solo: I’m shocked that you’ve yet to bite their head off for the ‘my dear friend’ comment. Talk about a patronizing way to start a reply.

2) ‘My dear friend’ (aka thedoctorswand): Let me just say that I really hope you’re a troll. But in case you’re not…there are so many issues here.

First, you’re ignoring the definition of bisexuality according to pretty much every bisexual organization out there, the definition they’ve used going back to pretty much as far back as the word ‘bisexual’ was established. That’s bullshit in and of itself.

Second, you’re ignoring how word derivation works. Yes, ‘bi’ does mean ‘two’—but terms don’t necessarily mean the literal combination of their parts. There are other factors to consider—for example, changing levels of knowledge over time. A similar example would be the use of ‘Oriental’ or ‘The Orient’. East Asia was originally called the Orient because 1) you went east from Europe to get there, and 2) people thought the world was flat, so if you went East to get there, then you couldn’t go West and get to the same place. At some point, we figured out that the world is indeed round and that, from the US at least, that region is actually closer to West than East—and yet we still understand what it means when a historical fiction novel talks about their 1920s Hollywood starlet going to the Orient, and indeed would be confused if that suddenly meant she was travelling to France (which is actually east of the US). Generally, once a word is in common use, we shift the definition to meet changing levels of knowledge, instead of shifting the word.

Third: Even if your literal interpretation of the ‘bi’ in ‘bisexuality’ was accurate (which it’s not), why does that mean men and women? Why doesn’t it mean men and nonbinary folks, for example? It looks like you didn’t think that particular definition through all that thoroughly, to be honest, which weakens your argument overall.

Finally: If you look at a thingby a total stranger which 1) is well sourced and obviously researched, 2) is obviously pretty personal to them, and 3) asks you not to do a thing, and your first response is “Hey I’m gonna do that thing!”? I really suggest not calling them your ‘dear friend’. It’s absolutely patronizing and demeaning to take such a familiar tone with a total stranger, and indeed it would be gross to take that tone with an actual close friend if you were doing so in the context of doing a thing that they’d already firmly asked you not to do (with actual research to back them up on why they aren’t OK with you doing it, even). Doing so is a good way to get people really mad at you really fast.

Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!

Alright, I will apologize for what I said. It was stupid to say everything I said and I accept what I’ve been told.

Look, now I learned something, isn’t that what this day would be for? Not to shout at people that do not know it better, but to explain it to them. I’m sorry for making everyone mad and I wish I wouldn’t have been that stupid but I can’t change it. I can just say that I will not do that anymore and that I’ve learnt from it but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down and actually talk to people, because this text actually made me calm down and understand, not the other accusations and all that mean stuff. I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!

My answer:

"you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down"

*pukes*

we don’t have an obligation to be ~nice~ to the people talking over us and erasing our identities

to reiterate: go fuck yourself thedoctorswand and sit the fuck down the next time you want to talk about something you’re entirely ignorant about

No worries, I will!

But first.. really guys, erasing your identities? 

Yeah, that was definitely my goal.. Because you mean so much to me..!

via ofbonesandblood · originally by soloontherocks
donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.
Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.
So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.
Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.
We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.
Knock this shit off.
Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.
Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!
With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

Are you a bisexual?

1) Solo: I’m shocked that you’ve yet to bite their head off for the ‘my dear friend’ comment. Talk about a patronizing way to start a reply.
2) ‘My dear friend’ (aka thedoctorswand): Let me just say that I really hope you’re a troll. But in case you’re not…there are so many issues here.
First, you’re ignoring the definition of bisexuality according to pretty much every bisexual organization out there, the definition they’ve used going back to pretty much as far back as the word ‘bisexual’ was established. That’s bullshit in and of itself.
Second, you’re ignoring how word derivation works. Yes, ‘bi’ does mean ‘two’—but terms don’t necessarily mean the literal combination of their parts. There are other factors to consider—for example, changing levels of knowledge over time. A similar example would be the use of ‘Oriental’ or ‘The Orient’. East Asia was originally called the Orient because 1) you went east from Europe to get there, and 2) people thought the world was flat, so if you went East to get there, then you couldn’t go West and get to the same place. At some point, we figured out that the world is indeed round and that, from the US at least, that region is actually closer to West than East—and yet we still understand what it means when a historical fiction novel talks about their 1920s Hollywood starlet going to the Orient, and indeed would be confused if that suddenly meant she was travelling to France (which is actually east of the US). Generally, once a word is in common use, we shift the definition to meet changing levels of knowledge, instead of shifting the word.
Third: Even if your literal interpretation of the ‘bi’ in ‘bisexuality’ was accurate (which it’s not), why does that mean men and women? Why doesn’t it mean men and nonbinary folks, for example? It looks like you didn’t think that particular definition through all that thoroughly, to be honest, which weakens your argument overall.
Finally: If you look at a thingby a total stranger which 1) is well sourced and obviously researched, 2) is obviously pretty personal to them, and 3) asks you not to do a thing, and your first response is “Hey I’m gonna do that thing!”? I really suggest not calling them your ‘dear friend’. It’s absolutely patronizing and demeaning to take such a familiar tone with a total stranger, and indeed it would be gross to take that tone with an actual close friend if you were doing so in the context of doing a thing that they’d already firmly asked you not to do (with actual research to back them up on why they aren’t OK with you doing it, even). Doing so is a good way to get people really mad at you really fast.

Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!
Alright, I will apologize for what I said. It was stupid to say everything I said and I accept what I’ve been told.
Look, now I learned something, isn’t that what this day would be for? Not to shout at people that do not know it better, but to explain it to them. I’m sorry for making everyone mad and I wish I wouldn’t have been that stupid but I can’t change it. I can just say that I will not do that anymore and that I’ve learnt from it but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down and actually talk to people, because this text actually made me calm down and understand, not the other accusations and all that mean stuff. I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!

Okay, so…I’m not really OK with you using my post as a way to knock down people who got angry at you. They were justified in their response—you said a patronizing, false thing, they told you that you were wrong, you kept insisting you were right about their identity (while not even being part of that identity), they got pissed, that’s entirely legit.
Then, tumblr user X reblogs your nice informational post. In their reblog, they tell you you’re wrong—that being aromantic DOES mean you’re totally incapable of love, for example, and if you’re not then you’re not aromantic and you should stop using the word. Or maybe they flat-out say that aromantic people don’t exist. You probably look at that and go “Okay, tumblr user X is being pretty nasty here, they need to step down and listen for a sec,” right? That’s how I feel about their response. Also I’m already kind of feeling like I want to punch them in the face for saying that kind of stuff about me.
So you reply letting them know that 1) their response isn’t acceptable, 2) they’re actually wrong and maybe should actually read your informational post, and 3) if they’re not aromantic then they really don’t get a say in what it is. You probably come off as irritated, maybe even angry, because probably you are—but there’s information available, in your original post and in what you’re typing. You’re doing your best.
And they escalate. They start getting pissed at you for telling them they’re wrong about aro people. They take your frustrated, irritated tone and interpret it as an attack on their entire person. They rant about how they have never and would never do anything to deserve that kind of attack. They don’t listen to you, don’t seem to have read any of the information you’ve provided, and are generally taking the whole conversation into a place that’s not only irritating and frustrating and hurtful (it was already those things, their original reply already brought in those things), but is also completely unproductive.
And then, to top it off? When someone who ISN’T aromantic replies to them with what is literally a rewrite of your original post with some extra examples thrown in, suddenly they’re all ears. They make a snide reblog at you about how this is how you ACTUALLY inform people (even though it’s just your original post in different words). They apologize for getting mad, but somehow turn that into a statement of superiority by adding on something along the lines of “See, I’m taking the higher road, why can’t you just do that, why couldn’t you do that in the first place?”.
Can you see how that isn’t appropriate?
Look, I’m glad my post helped you clarify why you were wrong. But it actually covered pretty much the exact same points as Solo’s original post—the one you originally replied to telling her that she and all the bisexual organizations out there are misdefining their own sexuality. I just included more examples and reworded things. The tone problem, the part with the anger and the attacks, that also started with you. You started your ‘correction’ with a very patronizing tone, proceeded to essentially stick your fingers in your ears and ignore all the people telling you that actually you were the misinformed one, and then acted shocked and lashed out when people started getting fed up with that. So while I’m glad my post helped you learn something, I hope you also look at their responses and try to figure out why your posts made people so angry. You’ve got a lot to learn there too.

I know I do!
But see, here is the thing. I wouldn’t care! And that’s why I can’t understand all of this! This happens so often here on tumblr! I see it all the time. So many of you are just overreacting so quickly!
How can you expect that people will understand you if you give them up so quickly and just be mean? Shouldn’t you be the better example? I told you, I know that I fucked up, I also said I understand and that I’m sorry! I said all of that and still you’re saying what I did wrong. I understand what I did wrong! I just don’t understand why people were reacting like that! It doesn’t take one short post to really make people who clearly have the wrong mindset to understand. It takes more than that! And if you don’t get that, then I’m sorry, you’re not in the position of calling people out on their mistakes!
You know, you just got my sexual orientation into this. Don’t you think I too had to defend myself a lot? Do you know what shit people say about aro-ace people too? But we can deal with it.
I really, really don’t want to sound mean to anyone again, but I really meant it when I said that you could try and handle such things different.
And please, keep in mind, that I KNOW I did something real shitty and I should feel bad about this, I do! I’m honetly so sorry for offending all of you! Someone just wrote to me and they were really nice. They were understanding and they explained me some stuff and that’s where I felt good. That’s where I felt like I learned something, like I knew what to do.
I didn’t wake up today and think “Come on, let’s offend some bisexuals!”, no, I just saw that post and thought with my infinite wisdom and years of Latin I would call someone out. Which was a dick move. And after the first response I still didn’t see it and suddenly after my second replay everyone freaked out! That’s not how I want this site to be! When I first started with tumblr I learned so much shit! Also about sexual orientations, believe it or not. About dealing with people, about accepting people, but nowadays it seems like everyone is just bitching at each other and I don’t like that. I’m sorry for using your post as a example for something I thought was good, I wanted to tell you guys that I am ready to accept what you told me and I still don’t understand AT ALL how this was a problem. It’s like you need to be mad at people. You told me how my behaviour seemed to be for others, I’m telling you this. Look, I could have just stopped writing but I wanted to let you guys know something, because it is important to me. People will always be shitty, but some people can be taught and you need to learn that! You need to forgive people that they never learned about all of this. I’ve never been taught any of this in school or at home, I learned a lot of things from this website but apparently it wasn’t all that right. So please excuse me if things like that happen.
This wouldn’t bother me at all. If someone said “Nah, asexuals/aromantics don’t exist” I would tell them about it. I would try to show them how it is and if it doesn’t work out then I would just let it be. That person isn’t important! Their also not aphobic or whatever you would call that.. Their just ignorant and they have to live with it. Why do you value other people’s opinions so much? I get it if I was a politician that would say “Bisexuality should be forbidden” then it could change your life to the worse, but I’m just some stupid little girl that you can teach something and imagine I would have just been going on with being mean and stupid and ignorant and shitty and you would have replied to that in the same way.. I would hate you! I would not see why I should accept you! So, again, I take all the blame one me! This one IS on me, but (there always is a but) you also are not perfect! Also try to take a look at your behaviour and maybe overthink it. That’s all I have to say!

Sorry, a paragraph got lost there—I used aromanticism as an example because I’m also aromantic and know the shit that goes with that one firsthand. It was an attempt to find common ground, which kind of fell flat when the paragraph introducing the hypothetical scenario somehow got deleted. :/ I updated the reply, but it looks like you started your reblog before I noticed the error.
What I’m saying with this is really, you know that you did a shitty thing, but you only understand half of why it was shitty. You understand that your definition was wrong, but you don’t seem to understand how your tone, word choices, and phrasings initialized people getting angry. You did something that hurt people, then repeated the action when they told you to cut it out, and then expected them to react politely and kindly. That’s not fair, not even if you didn’t mean to hurt them; if you step on someone’s foot (let’s even say you’re in stiletto heels), and they politely tell you to get off, and you refuse, are you really going to say they can’t yell at you to stop stepping on their foot?
It’s OK for you to think that you wouldn’t be hurt by the same thing. It’s OK for that to be true. It’s NOT ok for you to dismiss others’ pain just because you don’t think you’d feel the same way in their shoes. That’s true in the real world, and I really hope it’s also true here on tumblr. Personally, I think a person’s right to not get hurt over and over again is a lot more important than another person’s right to be calmly and kindly educated (and I say this as a highly conflict avoidant person with panic disorder, so I would absolutely love to live in a world where the latter was more normal than it is!).
You also seem to be confused as to whether someone like you (not a politician, not making any kind of rules on the subject, not forbidding anything, just a normal person) actually matters. On the one hand, you say that “That person isn’t important!”, as justification for why people shouldn’t get upset over them. On the other, you seem to think them important enough to be worth taking the time to educate. Which is it? It can’t be both—educating takes a lot of effort, much more than getting upset over them takes.
One last point, in response to this: “Imagine I would have just been going on with being mean and stupid and ignorant and shitty and you would have replied to that in the same way.. I would hate you! I would not see why I should accept you!” First of all, I’m not bisexual—this conversation has no bearing on whether you accept me, which is a big reason that I’m able to stay pretty calm about it. Second…do you really think that people should have to prove that they deserve acceptance? That an identity is only valid if the people who have it are nice to you? Are black people only acceptable when they speak kindly to you? Are mentally ill people only acceptable when they don’t make you uncomfortable? Are bisexual people only acceptable when they respond to hurtful attacks (which is clearly how they percieved your original reply) by calmly educating you? I…feel like you haven’t thought that statement through.
If, in a couple days, you still don’t understand why your apologies are as inappropriate as your original behavior or why your expectations for others’ behavior are unreasonable, go ahead and message me/send me an ask about it. I’ll keep the conversation private and do my best to explain.

Alright, no. You know what? I get your pointt very much and I know exactly what you mean. I was just saying that I hate how people can’t deal with shit but pretend like they’re some holy spirit or whatever.. I never said I expect anyone to educate me! If people would’ve ignored me I wouldn’t have cared. I cared because everyone came at me. And I don’t like people treading anyone like that! I don’t like how so many people, especially those who aren’t heterosexuell are just so full of self-pity! That’s what it is, alright. “Oh no, I’m a bisexual and that’s why so many people hate me. Poor me!” Everyone’s doing that! Women with their feminists stuff, bisexuals, homosexuals, whateversexuals. Yes, there is bad stuff happening, this world is fucking shitty, but you know what, some people might not hate you just because they don’t know that much about you! And I’m using “you” here, not specifically for you, but most of the people who’ll read this and be mad at me! 
I don’t care that you will be. Because I am fuckin right! Maybe I wasn’t right about the bisexual thing but this is something I definitely know a lot about. People like you guys can’t stop it! You poor, little things in this cruel cruel world! I’m sick of it, honetly! I had some advice for you after I accepted what I did wrong and nobody would take it and why? Because you are comfortable like this. Isn’t it nice, all that attention that you get because you are “so different”  Boo-hoo.
I’m sorry, I know people will hate me for this, but they already do, so just go ahead and be like that, but I will tell you, you will achieve not a single thing with those attitudes!
Have a nice BiVisibilityDay!

Well, now I’m kind of embarrassed that I tried.

Yeah, me too

donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.

Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.

So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.

Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.

We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.

Knock this shit off.

Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.

Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!

With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

Are you a bisexual?

1) Solo: I’m shocked that you’ve yet to bite their head off for the ‘my dear friend’ comment. Talk about a patronizing way to start a reply.

2) ‘My dear friend’ (aka thedoctorswand): Let me just say that I really hope you’re a troll. But in case you’re not…there are so many issues here.

First, you’re ignoring the definition of bisexuality according to pretty much every bisexual organization out there, the definition they’ve used going back to pretty much as far back as the word ‘bisexual’ was established. That’s bullshit in and of itself.

Second, you’re ignoring how word derivation works. Yes, ‘bi’ does mean ‘two’—but terms don’t necessarily mean the literal combination of their parts. There are other factors to consider—for example, changing levels of knowledge over time. A similar example would be the use of ‘Oriental’ or ‘The Orient’. East Asia was originally called the Orient because 1) you went east from Europe to get there, and 2) people thought the world was flat, so if you went East to get there, then you couldn’t go West and get to the same place. At some point, we figured out that the world is indeed round and that, from the US at least, that region is actually closer to West than East—and yet we still understand what it means when a historical fiction novel talks about their 1920s Hollywood starlet going to the Orient, and indeed would be confused if that suddenly meant she was travelling to France (which is actually east of the US). Generally, once a word is in common use, we shift the definition to meet changing levels of knowledge, instead of shifting the word.

Third: Even if your literal interpretation of the ‘bi’ in ‘bisexuality’ was accurate (which it’s not), why does that mean men and women? Why doesn’t it mean men and nonbinary folks, for example? It looks like you didn’t think that particular definition through all that thoroughly, to be honest, which weakens your argument overall.

Finally: If you look at a thingby a total stranger which 1) is well sourced and obviously researched, 2) is obviously pretty personal to them, and 3) asks you not to do a thing, and your first response is “Hey I’m gonna do that thing!”? I really suggest not calling them your ‘dear friend’. It’s absolutely patronizing and demeaning to take such a familiar tone with a total stranger, and indeed it would be gross to take that tone with an actual close friend if you were doing so in the context of doing a thing that they’d already firmly asked you not to do (with actual research to back them up on why they aren’t OK with you doing it, even). Doing so is a good way to get people really mad at you really fast.

Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!

Alright, I will apologize for what I said. It was stupid to say everything I said and I accept what I’ve been told.

Look, now I learned something, isn’t that what this day would be for? Not to shout at people that do not know it better, but to explain it to them. I’m sorry for making everyone mad and I wish I wouldn’t have been that stupid but I can’t change it. I can just say that I will not do that anymore and that I’ve learnt from it but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down and actually talk to people, because this text actually made me calm down and understand, not the other accusations and all that mean stuff. I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!

Okay, so…I’m not really OK with you using my post as a way to knock down people who got angry at you. They were justified in their response—you said a patronizing, false thing, they told you that you were wrong, you kept insisting you were right about their identity (while not even being part of that identity), they got pissed, that’s entirely legit.

Then, tumblr user X reblogs your nice informational post. In their reblog, they tell you you’re wrong—that being aromantic DOES mean you’re totally incapable of love, for example, and if you’re not then you’re not aromantic and you should stop using the word. Or maybe they flat-out say that aromantic people don’t exist. You probably look at that and go “Okay, tumblr user X is being pretty nasty here, they need to step down and listen for a sec,” right? That’s how I feel about their response. Also I’m already kind of feeling like I want to punch them in the face for saying that kind of stuff about me.

So you reply letting them know that 1) their response isn’t acceptable, 2) they’re actually wrong and maybe should actually read your informational post, and 3) if they’re not aromantic then they really don’t get a say in what it is. You probably come off as irritated, maybe even angry, because probably you are—but there’s information available, in your original post and in what you’re typing. You’re doing your best.

And they escalate. They start getting pissed at you for telling them they’re wrong about aro people. They take your frustrated, irritated tone and interpret it as an attack on their entire person. They rant about how they have never and would never do anything to deserve that kind of attack. They don’t listen to you, don’t seem to have read any of the information you’ve provided, and are generally taking the whole conversation into a place that’s not only irritating and frustrating and hurtful (it was already those things, their original reply already brought in those things), but is also completely unproductive.

And then, to top it off? When someone who ISN’T aromantic replies to them with what is literally a rewrite of your original post with some extra examples thrown in, suddenly they’re all ears. They make a snide reblog at you about how this is how you ACTUALLY inform people (even though it’s just your original post in different words). They apologize for getting mad, but somehow turn that into a statement of superiority by adding on something along the lines of “See, I’m taking the higher road, why can’t you just do that, why couldn’t you do that in the first place?”.

Can you see how that isn’t appropriate?

Look, I’m glad my post helped you clarify why you were wrong. But it actually covered pretty much the exact same points as Solo’s original post—the one you originally replied to telling her that she and all the bisexual organizations out there are misdefining their own sexuality. I just included more examples and reworded things. The tone problem, the part with the anger and the attacks, that also started with you. You started your ‘correction’ with a very patronizing tone, proceeded to essentially stick your fingers in your ears and ignore all the people telling you that actually you were the misinformed one, and then acted shocked and lashed out when people started getting fed up with that. So while I’m glad my post helped you learn something, I hope you also look at their responses and try to figure out why your posts made people so angry. You’ve got a lot to learn there too.

I know I do!

But see, here is the thing. I wouldn’t care! And that’s why I can’t understand all of this! This happens so often here on tumblr! I see it all the time. So many of you are just overreacting so quickly!

How can you expect that people will understand you if you give them up so quickly and just be mean? Shouldn’t you be the better example? I told you, I know that I fucked up, I also said I understand and that I’m sorry! I said all of that and still you’re saying what I did wrong. I understand what I did wrong! I just don’t understand why people were reacting like that! It doesn’t take one short post to really make people who clearly have the wrong mindset to understand. It takes more than that! And if you don’t get that, then I’m sorry, you’re not in the position of calling people out on their mistakes!

You know, you just got my sexual orientation into this. Don’t you think I too had to defend myself a lot? Do you know what shit people say about aro-ace people too? But we can deal with it.

I really, really don’t want to sound mean to anyone again, but I really meant it when I said that you could try and handle such things different.

And please, keep in mind, that I KNOW I did something real shitty and I should feel bad about this, I do! I’m honetly so sorry for offending all of you! Someone just wrote to me and they were really nice. They were understanding and they explained me some stuff and that’s where I felt good. That’s where I felt like I learned something, like I knew what to do.

I didn’t wake up today and think “Come on, let’s offend some bisexuals!”, no, I just saw that post and thought with my infinite wisdom and years of Latin I would call someone out. Which was a dick move. And after the first response I still didn’t see it and suddenly after my second replay everyone freaked out! That’s not how I want this site to be! When I first started with tumblr I learned so much shit! Also about sexual orientations, believe it or not. About dealing with people, about accepting people, but nowadays it seems like everyone is just bitching at each other and I don’t like that. I’m sorry for using your post as a example for something I thought was good, I wanted to tell you guys that I am ready to accept what you told me and I still don’t understand AT ALL how this was a problem. It’s like you need to be mad at people. You told me how my behaviour seemed to be for others, I’m telling you this. Look, I could have just stopped writing but I wanted to let you guys know something, because it is important to me. People will always be shitty, but some people can be taught and you need to learn that! You need to forgive people that they never learned about all of this. I’ve never been taught any of this in school or at home, I learned a lot of things from this website but apparently it wasn’t all that right. So please excuse me if things like that happen.

This wouldn’t bother me at all. If someone said “Nah, asexuals/aromantics don’t exist” I would tell them about it. I would try to show them how it is and if it doesn’t work out then I would just let it be. That person isn’t important! Their also not aphobic or whatever you would call that.. Their just ignorant and they have to live with it. Why do you value other people’s opinions so much? I get it if I was a politician that would say “Bisexuality should be forbidden” then it could change your life to the worse, but I’m just some stupid little girl that you can teach something and imagine I would have just been going on with being mean and stupid and ignorant and shitty and you would have replied to that in the same way.. I would hate you! I would not see why I should accept you! So, again, I take all the blame one me! This one IS on me, but (there always is a but) you also are not perfect! Also try to take a look at your behaviour and maybe overthink it. That’s all I have to say!

Sorry, a paragraph got lost there—I used aromanticism as an example because I’m also aromantic and know the shit that goes with that one firsthand. It was an attempt to find common ground, which kind of fell flat when the paragraph introducing the hypothetical scenario somehow got deleted. :/ I updated the reply, but it looks like you started your reblog before I noticed the error.

What I’m saying with this is really, you know that you did a shitty thing, but you only understand half of why it was shitty. You understand that your definition was wrong, but you don’t seem to understand how your tone, word choices, and phrasings initialized people getting angry. You did something that hurt people, then repeated the action when they told you to cut it out, and then expected them to react politely and kindly. That’s not fair, not even if you didn’t mean to hurt them; if you step on someone’s foot (let’s even say you’re in stiletto heels), and they politely tell you to get off, and you refuse, are you really going to say they can’t yell at you to stop stepping on their foot?

It’s OK for you to think that you wouldn’t be hurt by the same thing. It’s OK for that to be true. It’s NOT ok for you to dismiss others’ pain just because you don’t think you’d feel the same way in their shoes. That’s true in the real world, and I really hope it’s also true here on tumblr. Personally, I think a person’s right to not get hurt over and over again is a lot more important than another person’s right to be calmly and kindly educated (and I say this as a highly conflict avoidant person with panic disorder, so I would absolutely love to live in a world where the latter was more normal than it is!).

You also seem to be confused as to whether someone like you (not a politician, not making any kind of rules on the subject, not forbidding anything, just a normal person) actually matters. On the one hand, you say that “That person isn’t important!”, as justification for why people shouldn’t get upset over them. On the other, you seem to think them important enough to be worth taking the time to educate. Which is it? It can’t be both—educating takes a lot of effort, much more than getting upset over them takes.

One last point, in response to this: “Imagine I would have just been going on with being mean and stupid and ignorant and shitty and you would have replied to that in the same way.. I would hate you! I would not see why I should accept you!” First of all, I’m not bisexual—this conversation has no bearing on whether you accept me, which is a big reason that I’m able to stay pretty calm about it. Second…do you really think that people should have to prove that they deserve acceptance? That an identity is only valid if the people who have it are nice to you? Are black people only acceptable when they speak kindly to you? Are mentally ill people only acceptable when they don’t make you uncomfortable? Are bisexual people only acceptable when they respond to hurtful attacks (which is clearly how they percieved your original reply) by calmly educating you? I…feel like you haven’t thought that statement through.

If, in a couple days, you still don’t understand why your apologies are as inappropriate as your original behavior or why your expectations for others’ behavior are unreasonable, go ahead and message me/send me an ask about it. I’ll keep the conversation private and do my best to explain.

Alright, no. You know what? I get your pointt very much and I know exactly what you mean. I was just saying that I hate how people can’t deal with shit but pretend like they’re some holy spirit or whatever.. I never said I expect anyone to educate me! If people would’ve ignored me I wouldn’t have cared. I cared because everyone came at me. And I don’t like people treading anyone like that! I don’t like how so many people, especially those who aren’t heterosexuell are just so full of self-pity! That’s what it is, alright. “Oh no, I’m a bisexual and that’s why so many people hate me. Poor me!” Everyone’s doing that! Women with their feminists stuff, bisexuals, homosexuals, whateversexuals. Yes, there is bad stuff happening, this world is fucking shitty, but you know what, some people might not hate you just because they don’t know that much about you! And I’m using “you” here, not specifically for you, but most of the people who’ll read this and be mad at me! 

I don’t care that you will be. Because I am fuckin right! Maybe I wasn’t right about the bisexual thing but this is something I definitely know a lot about. People like you guys can’t stop it! You poor, little things in this cruel cruel world! I’m sick of it, honetly! I had some advice for you after I accepted what I did wrong and nobody would take it and why? Because you are comfortable like this. Isn’t it nice, all that attention that you get because you are “so different”  Boo-hoo.

I’m sorry, I know people will hate me for this, but they already do, so just go ahead and be like that, but I will tell you, you will achieve not a single thing with those attitudes!

Have a nice BiVisibilityDay!

Well, now I’m kind of embarrassed that I tried.

Yeah, me too

via donnadellaforesta · originally by soloontherocks
donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.
Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.
So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.
Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.
We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.
Knock this shit off.
Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.
Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!
With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

Are you a bisexual?

1) Solo: I’m shocked that you’ve yet to bite their head off for the ‘my dear friend’ comment. Talk about a patronizing way to start a reply.
2) ‘My dear friend’ (aka thedoctorswand): Let me just say that I really hope you’re a troll. But in case you’re not…there are so many issues here.
First, you’re ignoring the definition of bisexuality according to pretty much every bisexual organization out there, the definition they’ve used going back to pretty much as far back as the word ‘bisexual’ was established. That’s bullshit in and of itself.
Second, you’re ignoring how word derivation works. Yes, ‘bi’ does mean ‘two’—but terms don’t necessarily mean the literal combination of their parts. There are other factors to consider—for example, changing levels of knowledge over time. A similar example would be the use of ‘Oriental’ or ‘The Orient’. East Asia was originally called the Orient because 1) you went east from Europe to get there, and 2) people thought the world was flat, so if you went East to get there, then you couldn’t go West and get to the same place. At some point, we figured out that the world is indeed round and that, from the US at least, that region is actually closer to West than East—and yet we still understand what it means when a historical fiction novel talks about their 1920s Hollywood starlet going to the Orient, and indeed would be confused if that suddenly meant she was travelling to France (which is actually east of the US). Generally, once a word is in common use, we shift the definition to meet changing levels of knowledge, instead of shifting the word.
Third: Even if your literal interpretation of the ‘bi’ in ‘bisexuality’ was accurate (which it’s not), why does that mean men and women? Why doesn’t it mean men and nonbinary folks, for example? It looks like you didn’t think that particular definition through all that thoroughly, to be honest, which weakens your argument overall.
Finally: If you look at a thingby a total stranger which 1) is well sourced and obviously researched, 2) is obviously pretty personal to them, and 3) asks you not to do a thing, and your first response is “Hey I’m gonna do that thing!”? I really suggest not calling them your ‘dear friend’. It’s absolutely patronizing and demeaning to take such a familiar tone with a total stranger, and indeed it would be gross to take that tone with an actual close friend if you were doing so in the context of doing a thing that they’d already firmly asked you not to do (with actual research to back them up on why they aren’t OK with you doing it, even). Doing so is a good way to get people really mad at you really fast.

Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!
Alright, I will apologize for what I said. It was stupid to say everything I said and I accept what I’ve been told.
Look, now I learned something, isn’t that what this day would be for? Not to shout at people that do not know it better, but to explain it to them. I’m sorry for making everyone mad and I wish I wouldn’t have been that stupid but I can’t change it. I can just say that I will not do that anymore and that I’ve learnt from it but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down and actually talk to people, because this text actually made me calm down and understand, not the other accusations and all that mean stuff. I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!

Okay, so…I’m not really OK with you using my post as a way to knock down people who got angry at you. They were justified in their response—you said a patronizing, false thing, they told you that you were wrong, you kept insisting you were right about their identity (while not even being part of that identity), they got pissed, that’s entirely legit.
Then, tumblr user X reblogs your nice informational post. In their reblog, they tell you you’re wrong—that being aromantic DOES mean you’re totally incapable of love, for example, and if you’re not then you’re not aromantic and you should stop using the word. Or maybe they flat-out say that aromantic people don’t exist. You probably look at that and go “Okay, tumblr user X is being pretty nasty here, they need to step down and listen for a sec,” right? That’s how I feel about their response. Also I’m already kind of feeling like I want to punch them in the face for saying that kind of stuff about me.
So you reply letting them know that 1) their response isn’t acceptable, 2) they’re actually wrong and maybe should actually read your informational post, and 3) if they’re not aromantic then they really don’t get a say in what it is. You probably come off as irritated, maybe even angry, because probably you are—but there’s information available, in your original post and in what you’re typing. You’re doing your best.
And they escalate. They start getting pissed at you for telling them they’re wrong about aro people. They take your frustrated, irritated tone and interpret it as an attack on their entire person. They rant about how they have never and would never do anything to deserve that kind of attack. They don’t listen to you, don’t seem to have read any of the information you’ve provided, and are generally taking the whole conversation into a place that’s not only irritating and frustrating and hurtful (it was already those things, their original reply already brought in those things), but is also completely unproductive.
And then, to top it off? When someone who ISN’T aromantic replies to them with what is literally a rewrite of your original post with some extra examples thrown in, suddenly they’re all ears. They make a snide reblog at you about how this is how you ACTUALLY inform people (even though it’s just your original post in different words). They apologize for getting mad, but somehow turn that into a statement of superiority by adding on something along the lines of “See, I’m taking the higher road, why can’t you just do that, why couldn’t you do that in the first place?”.
Can you see how that isn’t appropriate?
Look, I’m glad my post helped you clarify why you were wrong. But it actually covered pretty much the exact same points as Solo’s original post—the one you originally replied to telling her that she and all the bisexual organizations out there are misdefining their own sexuality. I just included more examples and reworded things. The tone problem, the part with the anger and the attacks, that also started with you. You started your ‘correction’ with a very patronizing tone, proceeded to essentially stick your fingers in your ears and ignore all the people telling you that actually you were the misinformed one, and then acted shocked and lashed out when people started getting fed up with that. So while I’m glad my post helped you learn something, I hope you also look at their responses and try to figure out why your posts made people so angry. You’ve got a lot to learn there too.

I know I do!
But see, here is the thing. I wouldn’t care! And that’s why I can’t understand all of this! This happens so often here on tumblr! I see it all the time. So many of you are just overreacting so quickly!
How can you expect that people will understand you if you give them up so quickly and just be mean? Shouldn’t you be the better example? I told you, I know that I fucked up, I also said I understand and that I’m sorry! I said all of that and still you’re saying what I did wrong. I understand what I did wrong! I just don’t understand why people were reacting like that! It doesn’t take one short post to really make people who clearly have the wrong mindset to understand. It takes more than that! And if you don’t get that, then I’m sorry, you’re not in the position of calling people out on their mistakes!
You know, you just got my sexual orientation into this. Don’t you think I too had to defend myself a lot? Do you know what shit people say about aro-ace people too? But we can deal with it.
I really, really don’t want to sound mean to anyone again, but I really meant it when I said that you could try and handle such things different.
And please, keep in mind, that I KNOW I did something real shitty and I should feel bad about this, I do! I’m honetly so sorry for offending all of you! Someone just wrote to me and they were really nice. They were understanding and they explained me some stuff and that’s where I felt good. That’s where I felt like I learned something, like I knew what to do.
I didn’t wake up today and think “Come on, let’s offend some bisexuals!”, no, I just saw that post and thought with my infinite wisdom and years of Latin I would call someone out. Which was a dick move. And after the first response I still didn’t see it and suddenly after my second replay everyone freaked out! That’s not how I want this site to be! When I first started with tumblr I learned so much shit! Also about sexual orientations, believe it or not. About dealing with people, about accepting people, but nowadays it seems like everyone is just bitching at each other and I don’t like that. I’m sorry for using your post as a example for something I thought was good, I wanted to tell you guys that I am ready to accept what you told me and I still don’t understand AT ALL how this was a problem. It’s like you need to be mad at people. You told me how my behaviour seemed to be for others, I’m telling you this. Look, I could have just stopped writing but I wanted to let you guys know something, because it is important to me. People will always be shitty, but some people can be taught and you need to learn that! You need to forgive people that they never learned about all of this. I’ve never been taught any of this in school or at home, I learned a lot of things from this website but apparently it wasn’t all that right. So please excuse me if things like that happen.
This wouldn’t bother me at all. If someone said “Nah, asexuals/aromantics don’t exist” I would tell them about it. I would try to show them how it is and if it doesn’t work out then I would just let it be. That person isn’t important! Their also not aphobic or whatever you would call that.. Their just ignorant and they have to live with it. Why do you value other people’s opinions so much? I get it if I was a politician that would say “Bisexuality should be forbidden” then it could change your life to the worse, but I’m just some stupid little girl that you can teach something and imagine I would have just been going on with being mean and stupid and ignorant and shitty and you would have replied to that in the same way.. I would hate you! I would not see why I should accept you! So, again, I take all the blame one me! This one IS on me, but (there always is a but) you also are not perfect! Also try to take a look at your behaviour and maybe overthink it. That’s all I have to say!

Sorry, a paragraph got lost there—I used aromanticism as an example because I’m also aromantic and know the shit that goes with that one firsthand. It was an attempt to find common ground, which kind of fell flat when the paragraph introducing the hypothetical scenario somehow got deleted. :/ I updated the reply, but it looks like you started your reblog before I noticed the error.
What I’m saying with this is really, you know that you did a shitty thing, but you only understand half of why it was shitty. You understand that your definition was wrong, but you don’t seem to understand how your tone, word choices, and phrasings initialized people getting angry. You did something that hurt people, then repeated the action when they told you to cut it out, and then expected them to react politely and kindly. That’s not fair, not even if you didn’t mean to hurt them; if you step on someone’s foot (let’s even say you’re in stiletto heels), and they politely tell you to get off, and you refuse, are you really going to say they can’t yell at you to stop stepping on their foot?
It’s OK for you to think that you wouldn’t be hurt by the same thing. It’s OK for that to be true. It’s NOT ok for you to dismiss others’ pain just because you don’t think you’d feel the same way in their shoes. That’s true in the real world, and I really hope it’s also true here on tumblr. Personally, I think a person’s right to not get hurt over and over again is a lot more important than another person’s right to be calmly and kindly educated (and I say this as a highly conflict avoidant person with panic disorder, so I would absolutely love to live in a world where the latter was more normal than it is!).
You also seem to be confused as to whether someone like you (not a politician, not making any kind of rules on the subject, not forbidding anything, just a normal person) actually matters. On the one hand, you say that “That person isn’t important!”, as justification for why people shouldn’t get upset over them. On the other, you seem to think them important enough to be worth taking the time to educate. Which is it? It can’t be both—educating takes a lot of effort, much more than getting upset over them takes.
One last point, in response to this: “Imagine I would have just been going on with being mean and stupid and ignorant and shitty and you would have replied to that in the same way.. I would hate you! I would not see why I should accept you!” First of all, I’m not bisexual—this conversation has no bearing on whether you accept me, which is a big reason that I’m able to stay pretty calm about it. Second…do you really think that people should have to prove that they deserve acceptance? That an identity is only valid if the people who have it are nice to you? Are black people only acceptable when they speak kindly to you? Are mentally ill people only acceptable when they don’t make you uncomfortable? Are bisexual people only acceptable when they respond to hurtful attacks (which is clearly how they percieved your original reply) by calmly educating you? I…feel like you haven’t thought that statement through.
If, in a couple days, you still don’t understand why your apologies are as inappropriate as your original behavior or why your expectations for others’ behavior are unreasonable, go ahead and message me/send me an ask about it. I’ll keep the conversation private and do my best to explain.

Alright, no. You know what? I get your pointt very much and I know exactly what you mean. I was just saying that I hate how people can’t deal with shit but pretend like they’re some holy spirit or whatever.. I never said I expect anyone to educate me! If people would’ve ignored me I wouldn’t have cared. I cared because everyone came at me. And I don’t like people treading anyone like that! I don’t like how so many people, especially those who aren’t heterosexuell are just so full of self-pity! That’s what it is, alright. “Oh no, I’m a bisexual and that’s why so many people hate me. Poor me!” Everyone’s doing that! Women with their feminists stuff, bisexuals, homosexuals, whateversexuals. Yes, there is bad stuff happening, this world is fucking shitty, but you know what, some people might not hate you just because they don’t know that much about you! And I’m using “you” here, not specifically for you, but most of the people who’ll read this and be mad at me! 
I don’t care that you will be. Because I am fuckin right! Maybe I wasn’t right about the bisexual thing but this is something I definitely know a lot about. People like you guys can’t stop it! You poor, little things in this cruel cruel world! I’m sick of it, honetly! I had some advice for you after I accepted what I did wrong and nobody would take it and why? Because you are comfortable like this. Isn’t it nice, all that attention that you get because you are “so different”  Boo-hoo.
I’m sorry, I know people will hate me for this, but they already do, so just go ahead and be like that, but I will tell you, you will achieve not a single thing with those attitudes!
Have a nice BiVisibilityDay!

donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.

Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.

So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.

Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.

We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.

Knock this shit off.

Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.

Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!

With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

Are you a bisexual?

1) Solo: I’m shocked that you’ve yet to bite their head off for the ‘my dear friend’ comment. Talk about a patronizing way to start a reply.

2) ‘My dear friend’ (aka thedoctorswand): Let me just say that I really hope you’re a troll. But in case you’re not…there are so many issues here.

First, you’re ignoring the definition of bisexuality according to pretty much every bisexual organization out there, the definition they’ve used going back to pretty much as far back as the word ‘bisexual’ was established. That’s bullshit in and of itself.

Second, you’re ignoring how word derivation works. Yes, ‘bi’ does mean ‘two’—but terms don’t necessarily mean the literal combination of their parts. There are other factors to consider—for example, changing levels of knowledge over time. A similar example would be the use of ‘Oriental’ or ‘The Orient’. East Asia was originally called the Orient because 1) you went east from Europe to get there, and 2) people thought the world was flat, so if you went East to get there, then you couldn’t go West and get to the same place. At some point, we figured out that the world is indeed round and that, from the US at least, that region is actually closer to West than East—and yet we still understand what it means when a historical fiction novel talks about their 1920s Hollywood starlet going to the Orient, and indeed would be confused if that suddenly meant she was travelling to France (which is actually east of the US). Generally, once a word is in common use, we shift the definition to meet changing levels of knowledge, instead of shifting the word.

Third: Even if your literal interpretation of the ‘bi’ in ‘bisexuality’ was accurate (which it’s not), why does that mean men and women? Why doesn’t it mean men and nonbinary folks, for example? It looks like you didn’t think that particular definition through all that thoroughly, to be honest, which weakens your argument overall.

Finally: If you look at a thingby a total stranger which 1) is well sourced and obviously researched, 2) is obviously pretty personal to them, and 3) asks you not to do a thing, and your first response is “Hey I’m gonna do that thing!”? I really suggest not calling them your ‘dear friend’. It’s absolutely patronizing and demeaning to take such a familiar tone with a total stranger, and indeed it would be gross to take that tone with an actual close friend if you were doing so in the context of doing a thing that they’d already firmly asked you not to do (with actual research to back them up on why they aren’t OK with you doing it, even). Doing so is a good way to get people really mad at you really fast.

Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!

Alright, I will apologize for what I said. It was stupid to say everything I said and I accept what I’ve been told.

Look, now I learned something, isn’t that what this day would be for? Not to shout at people that do not know it better, but to explain it to them. I’m sorry for making everyone mad and I wish I wouldn’t have been that stupid but I can’t change it. I can just say that I will not do that anymore and that I’ve learnt from it but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down and actually talk to people, because this text actually made me calm down and understand, not the other accusations and all that mean stuff. I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!

Okay, so…I’m not really OK with you using my post as a way to knock down people who got angry at you. They were justified in their response—you said a patronizing, false thing, they told you that you were wrong, you kept insisting you were right about their identity (while not even being part of that identity), they got pissed, that’s entirely legit.

Then, tumblr user X reblogs your nice informational post. In their reblog, they tell you you’re wrong—that being aromantic DOES mean you’re totally incapable of love, for example, and if you’re not then you’re not aromantic and you should stop using the word. Or maybe they flat-out say that aromantic people don’t exist. You probably look at that and go “Okay, tumblr user X is being pretty nasty here, they need to step down and listen for a sec,” right? That’s how I feel about their response. Also I’m already kind of feeling like I want to punch them in the face for saying that kind of stuff about me.

So you reply letting them know that 1) their response isn’t acceptable, 2) they’re actually wrong and maybe should actually read your informational post, and 3) if they’re not aromantic then they really don’t get a say in what it is. You probably come off as irritated, maybe even angry, because probably you are—but there’s information available, in your original post and in what you’re typing. You’re doing your best.

And they escalate. They start getting pissed at you for telling them they’re wrong about aro people. They take your frustrated, irritated tone and interpret it as an attack on their entire person. They rant about how they have never and would never do anything to deserve that kind of attack. They don’t listen to you, don’t seem to have read any of the information you’ve provided, and are generally taking the whole conversation into a place that’s not only irritating and frustrating and hurtful (it was already those things, their original reply already brought in those things), but is also completely unproductive.

And then, to top it off? When someone who ISN’T aromantic replies to them with what is literally a rewrite of your original post with some extra examples thrown in, suddenly they’re all ears. They make a snide reblog at you about how this is how you ACTUALLY inform people (even though it’s just your original post in different words). They apologize for getting mad, but somehow turn that into a statement of superiority by adding on something along the lines of “See, I’m taking the higher road, why can’t you just do that, why couldn’t you do that in the first place?”.

Can you see how that isn’t appropriate?

Look, I’m glad my post helped you clarify why you were wrong. But it actually covered pretty much the exact same points as Solo’s original post—the one you originally replied to telling her that she and all the bisexual organizations out there are misdefining their own sexuality. I just included more examples and reworded things. The tone problem, the part with the anger and the attacks, that also started with you. You started your ‘correction’ with a very patronizing tone, proceeded to essentially stick your fingers in your ears and ignore all the people telling you that actually you were the misinformed one, and then acted shocked and lashed out when people started getting fed up with that. So while I’m glad my post helped you learn something, I hope you also look at their responses and try to figure out why your posts made people so angry. You’ve got a lot to learn there too.

I know I do!

But see, here is the thing. I wouldn’t care! And that’s why I can’t understand all of this! This happens so often here on tumblr! I see it all the time. So many of you are just overreacting so quickly!

How can you expect that people will understand you if you give them up so quickly and just be mean? Shouldn’t you be the better example? I told you, I know that I fucked up, I also said I understand and that I’m sorry! I said all of that and still you’re saying what I did wrong. I understand what I did wrong! I just don’t understand why people were reacting like that! It doesn’t take one short post to really make people who clearly have the wrong mindset to understand. It takes more than that! And if you don’t get that, then I’m sorry, you’re not in the position of calling people out on their mistakes!

You know, you just got my sexual orientation into this. Don’t you think I too had to defend myself a lot? Do you know what shit people say about aro-ace people too? But we can deal with it.

I really, really don’t want to sound mean to anyone again, but I really meant it when I said that you could try and handle such things different.

And please, keep in mind, that I KNOW I did something real shitty and I should feel bad about this, I do! I’m honetly so sorry for offending all of you! Someone just wrote to me and they were really nice. They were understanding and they explained me some stuff and that’s where I felt good. That’s where I felt like I learned something, like I knew what to do.

I didn’t wake up today and think “Come on, let’s offend some bisexuals!”, no, I just saw that post and thought with my infinite wisdom and years of Latin I would call someone out. Which was a dick move. And after the first response I still didn’t see it and suddenly after my second replay everyone freaked out! That’s not how I want this site to be! When I first started with tumblr I learned so much shit! Also about sexual orientations, believe it or not. About dealing with people, about accepting people, but nowadays it seems like everyone is just bitching at each other and I don’t like that. I’m sorry for using your post as a example for something I thought was good, I wanted to tell you guys that I am ready to accept what you told me and I still don’t understand AT ALL how this was a problem. It’s like you need to be mad at people. You told me how my behaviour seemed to be for others, I’m telling you this. Look, I could have just stopped writing but I wanted to let you guys know something, because it is important to me. People will always be shitty, but some people can be taught and you need to learn that! You need to forgive people that they never learned about all of this. I’ve never been taught any of this in school or at home, I learned a lot of things from this website but apparently it wasn’t all that right. So please excuse me if things like that happen.

This wouldn’t bother me at all. If someone said “Nah, asexuals/aromantics don’t exist” I would tell them about it. I would try to show them how it is and if it doesn’t work out then I would just let it be. That person isn’t important! Their also not aphobic or whatever you would call that.. Their just ignorant and they have to live with it. Why do you value other people’s opinions so much? I get it if I was a politician that would say “Bisexuality should be forbidden” then it could change your life to the worse, but I’m just some stupid little girl that you can teach something and imagine I would have just been going on with being mean and stupid and ignorant and shitty and you would have replied to that in the same way.. I would hate you! I would not see why I should accept you! So, again, I take all the blame one me! This one IS on me, but (there always is a but) you also are not perfect! Also try to take a look at your behaviour and maybe overthink it. That’s all I have to say!

Sorry, a paragraph got lost there—I used aromanticism as an example because I’m also aromantic and know the shit that goes with that one firsthand. It was an attempt to find common ground, which kind of fell flat when the paragraph introducing the hypothetical scenario somehow got deleted. :/ I updated the reply, but it looks like you started your reblog before I noticed the error.

What I’m saying with this is really, you know that you did a shitty thing, but you only understand half of why it was shitty. You understand that your definition was wrong, but you don’t seem to understand how your tone, word choices, and phrasings initialized people getting angry. You did something that hurt people, then repeated the action when they told you to cut it out, and then expected them to react politely and kindly. That’s not fair, not even if you didn’t mean to hurt them; if you step on someone’s foot (let’s even say you’re in stiletto heels), and they politely tell you to get off, and you refuse, are you really going to say they can’t yell at you to stop stepping on their foot?

It’s OK for you to think that you wouldn’t be hurt by the same thing. It’s OK for that to be true. It’s NOT ok for you to dismiss others’ pain just because you don’t think you’d feel the same way in their shoes. That’s true in the real world, and I really hope it’s also true here on tumblr. Personally, I think a person’s right to not get hurt over and over again is a lot more important than another person’s right to be calmly and kindly educated (and I say this as a highly conflict avoidant person with panic disorder, so I would absolutely love to live in a world where the latter was more normal than it is!).

You also seem to be confused as to whether someone like you (not a politician, not making any kind of rules on the subject, not forbidding anything, just a normal person) actually matters. On the one hand, you say that “That person isn’t important!”, as justification for why people shouldn’t get upset over them. On the other, you seem to think them important enough to be worth taking the time to educate. Which is it? It can’t be both—educating takes a lot of effort, much more than getting upset over them takes.

One last point, in response to this: “Imagine I would have just been going on with being mean and stupid and ignorant and shitty and you would have replied to that in the same way.. I would hate you! I would not see why I should accept you!” First of all, I’m not bisexual—this conversation has no bearing on whether you accept me, which is a big reason that I’m able to stay pretty calm about it. Second…do you really think that people should have to prove that they deserve acceptance? That an identity is only valid if the people who have it are nice to you? Are black people only acceptable when they speak kindly to you? Are mentally ill people only acceptable when they don’t make you uncomfortable? Are bisexual people only acceptable when they respond to hurtful attacks (which is clearly how they percieved your original reply) by calmly educating you? I…feel like you haven’t thought that statement through.

If, in a couple days, you still don’t understand why your apologies are as inappropriate as your original behavior or why your expectations for others’ behavior are unreasonable, go ahead and message me/send me an ask about it. I’ll keep the conversation private and do my best to explain.

Alright, no. You know what? I get your pointt very much and I know exactly what you mean. I was just saying that I hate how people can’t deal with shit but pretend like they’re some holy spirit or whatever.. I never said I expect anyone to educate me! If people would’ve ignored me I wouldn’t have cared. I cared because everyone came at me. And I don’t like people treading anyone like that! I don’t like how so many people, especially those who aren’t heterosexuell are just so full of self-pity! That’s what it is, alright. “Oh no, I’m a bisexual and that’s why so many people hate me. Poor me!” Everyone’s doing that! Women with their feminists stuff, bisexuals, homosexuals, whateversexuals. Yes, there is bad stuff happening, this world is fucking shitty, but you know what, some people might not hate you just because they don’t know that much about you! And I’m using “you” here, not specifically for you, but most of the people who’ll read this and be mad at me! 

I don’t care that you will be. Because I am fuckin right! Maybe I wasn’t right about the bisexual thing but this is something I definitely know a lot about. People like you guys can’t stop it! You poor, little things in this cruel cruel world! I’m sick of it, honetly! I had some advice for you after I accepted what I did wrong and nobody would take it and why? Because you are comfortable like this. Isn’t it nice, all that attention that you get because you are “so different”  Boo-hoo.

I’m sorry, I know people will hate me for this, but they already do, so just go ahead and be like that, but I will tell you, you will achieve not a single thing with those attitudes!

Have a nice BiVisibilityDay!

via donnadellaforesta · originally by soloontherocks
awwww-cute:

My older cat got sick of my kitten trying to play with him so he pinned him down and licked him until he fell asleep

awwww-cute:

My older cat got sick of my kitten trying to play with him so he pinned him down and licked him until he fell asleep

via kawaiimari1995 · originally by awwww-cute
reminder for bisexuals

lordwhat:

lyricalred:

today is bi visibility day. as such, bisexual people will be completely visible for the next 24 hours. this is a bad day to engage in bank heists, ghost impersonations, covert operations for vague yet menacing government agencies, and other common bisexual hobbies that rely upon our powers of invisibility. 

reblog to save a life. 

image

via lordwhat · originally by lyricalred
donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.
Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.
So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.
Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.
We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.
Knock this shit off.
Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.
Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!
With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

Are you a bisexual?

1) Solo: I’m shocked that you’ve yet to bite their head off for the ‘my dear friend’ comment. Talk about a patronizing way to start a reply.
2) ‘My dear friend’ (aka thedoctorswand): Let me just say that I really hope you’re a troll. But in case you’re not…there are so many issues here.
First, you’re ignoring the definition of bisexuality according to pretty much every bisexual organization out there, the definition they’ve used going back to pretty much as far back as the word ‘bisexual’ was established. That’s bullshit in and of itself.
Second, you’re ignoring how word derivation works. Yes, ‘bi’ does mean ‘two’—but terms don’t necessarily mean the literal combination of their parts. There are other factors to consider—for example, changing levels of knowledge over time. A similar example would be the use of ‘Oriental’ or ‘The Orient’. East Asia was originally called the Orient because 1) you went east from Europe to get there, and 2) people thought the world was flat, so if you went East to get there, then you couldn’t go West and get to the same place. At some point, we figured out that the world is indeed round and that, from the US at least, that region is actually closer to West than East—and yet we still understand what it means when a historical fiction novel talks about their 1920s Hollywood starlet going to the Orient, and indeed would be confused if that suddenly meant she was travelling to France (which is actually east of the US). Generally, once a word is in common use, we shift the definition to meet changing levels of knowledge, instead of shifting the word.
Third: Even if your literal interpretation of the ‘bi’ in ‘bisexuality’ was accurate (which it’s not), why does that mean men and women? Why doesn’t it mean men and nonbinary folks, for example? It looks like you didn’t think that particular definition through all that thoroughly, to be honest, which weakens your argument overall.
Finally: If you look at a thingby a total stranger which 1) is well sourced and obviously researched, 2) is obviously pretty personal to them, and 3) asks you not to do a thing, and your first response is “Hey I’m gonna do that thing!”? I really suggest not calling them your ‘dear friend’. It’s absolutely patronizing and demeaning to take such a familiar tone with a total stranger, and indeed it would be gross to take that tone with an actual close friend if you were doing so in the context of doing a thing that they’d already firmly asked you not to do (with actual research to back them up on why they aren’t OK with you doing it, even). Doing so is a good way to get people really mad at you really fast.

Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!
Alright, I will apologize for what I said. It was stupid to say everything I said and I accept what I’ve been told.
Look, now I learned something, isn’t that what this day would be for? Not to shout at people that do not know it better, but to explain it to them. I’m sorry for making everyone mad and I wish I wouldn’t have been that stupid but I can’t change it. I can just say that I will not do that anymore and that I’ve learnt from it but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down and actually talk to people, because this text actually made me calm down and understand, not the other accusations and all that mean stuff. I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!

Okay, so…I’m not really OK with you using my post as a way to knock down people who got angry at you. They were justified in their response—you said a patronizing, false thing, they told you that you were wrong, you kept insisting you were right about their identity (while not even being part of that identity), they got pissed, that’s entirely legit.
Then, tumblr user X reblogs your nice informational post. In their reblog, they tell you you’re wrong—that being aromantic DOES mean you’re totally incapable of love, for example, and if you’re not then you’re not aromantic and you should stop using the word. Or maybe they flat-out say that aromantic people don’t exist. You probably look at that and go “Okay, tumblr user X is being pretty nasty here, they need to step down and listen for a sec,” right? That’s how I feel about their response. Also I’m already kind of feeling like I want to punch them in the face for saying that kind of stuff about me.
So you reply letting them know that 1) their response isn’t acceptable, 2) they’re actually wrong and maybe should actually read your informational post, and 3) if they’re not aromantic then they really don’t get a say in what it is. You probably come off as irritated, maybe even angry, because probably you are—but there’s information available, in your original post and in what you’re typing. You’re doing your best.
And they escalate. They start getting pissed at you for telling them they’re wrong about aro people. They take your frustrated, irritated tone and interpret it as an attack on their entire person. They rant about how they have never and would never do anything to deserve that kind of attack. They don’t listen to you, don’t seem to have read any of the information you’ve provided, and are generally taking the whole conversation into a place that’s not only irritating and frustrating and hurtful (it was already those things, their original reply already brought in those things), but is also completely unproductive.
And then, to top it off? When someone who ISN’T aromantic replies to them with what is literally a rewrite of your original post with some extra examples thrown in, suddenly they’re all ears. They make a snide reblog at you about how this is how you ACTUALLY inform people (even though it’s just your original post in different words). They apologize for getting mad, but somehow turn that into a statement of superiority by adding on something along the lines of “See, I’m taking the higher road, why can’t you just do that, why couldn’t you do that in the first place?”.
Can you see how that isn’t appropriate?
Look, I’m glad my post helped you clarify why you were wrong. But it actually covered pretty much the exact same points as Solo’s original post—the one you originally replied to telling her that she and all the bisexual organizations out there are misdefining their own sexuality. I just included more examples and reworded things. The tone problem, the part with the anger and the attacks, that also started with you. You started your ‘correction’ with a very patronizing tone, proceeded to essentially stick your fingers in your ears and ignore all the people telling you that actually you were the misinformed one, and then acted shocked and lashed out when people started getting fed up with that. So while I’m glad my post helped you learn something, I hope you also look at their responses and try to figure out why your posts made people so angry. You’ve got a lot to learn there too.

I know I do!
But see, here is the thing. I wouldn’t care! And that’s why I can’t understand all of this! This happens so often here on tumblr! I see it all the time. So many of you are just overreacting so quickly!
How can you expect that people will understand you if you give them up so quickly and just be mean? Shouldn’t you be the better example? I told you, I know that I fucked up, I also said I understand and that I’m sorry! I said all of that and still you’re saying what I did wrong. I understand what I did wrong! I just don’t understand why people were reacting like that! It doesn’t take one short post to really make people who clearly have the wrong mindset to understand. It takes more than that! And if you don’t get that, then I’m sorry, you’re not in the position of calling people out on their mistakes!
You know, you just got my sexual orientation into this. Don’t you think I too had to defend myself a lot? Do you know what shit people say about aro-ace people too? But we can deal with it.
I really, really don’t want to sound mean to anyone again, but I really meant it when I said that you could try and handle such things different.
And please, keep in mind, that I KNOW I did something real shitty and I should feel bad about this, I do! I’m honetly so sorry for offending all of you! Someone just wrote to me and they were really nice. They were understanding and they explained me some stuff and that’s where I felt good. That’s where I felt like I learned something, like I knew what to do.
I didn’t wake up today and think “Come on, let’s offend some bisexuals!”, no, I just saw that post and thought with my infinite wisdom and years of Latin I would call someone out. Which was a dick move. And after the first response I still didn’t see it and suddenly after my second replay everyone freaked out! That’s not how I want this site to be! When I first started with tumblr I learned so much shit! Also about sexual orientations, believe it or not. About dealing with people, about accepting people, but nowadays it seems like everyone is just bitching at each other and I don’t like that. I’m sorry for using your post as a example for something I thought was good, I wanted to tell you guys that I am ready to accept what you told me and I still don’t understand AT ALL how this was a problem. It’s like you need to be mad at people. You told me how my behaviour seemed to be for others, I’m telling you this. Look, I could have just stopped writing but I wanted to let you guys know something, because it is important to me. People will always be shitty, but some people can be taught and you need to learn that! You need to forgive people that they never learned about all of this. I’ve never been taught any of this in school or at home, I learned a lot of things from this website but apparently it wasn’t all that right. So please excuse me if things like that happen.
This wouldn’t bother me at all. If someone said “Nah, asexuals/aromantics don’t exist” I would tell them about it. I would try to show them how it is and if it doesn’t work out then I would just let it be. That person isn’t important! Their also not aphobic or whatever you would call that.. Their just ignorant and they have to live with it. Why do you value other people’s opinions so much? I get it if I was a politician that would say “Bisexuality should be forbidden” then it could change your life to the worse, but I’m just some stupid little girl that you can teach something and imagine I would have just been going on with being mean and stupid and ignorant and shitty and you would have replied to that in the same way.. I would hate you! I would not see why I should accept you! So, again, I take all the blame one me! This one IS on me, but (there always is a but) you also are not perfect! Also try to take a look at your behaviour and maybe overthink it. That’s all I have to say!

donnadellaforesta:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.

Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.

So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.

Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.

We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.

Knock this shit off.

Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.

Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!

With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

Are you a bisexual?

1) Solo: I’m shocked that you’ve yet to bite their head off for the ‘my dear friend’ comment. Talk about a patronizing way to start a reply.

2) ‘My dear friend’ (aka thedoctorswand): Let me just say that I really hope you’re a troll. But in case you’re not…there are so many issues here.

First, you’re ignoring the definition of bisexuality according to pretty much every bisexual organization out there, the definition they’ve used going back to pretty much as far back as the word ‘bisexual’ was established. That’s bullshit in and of itself.

Second, you’re ignoring how word derivation works. Yes, ‘bi’ does mean ‘two’—but terms don’t necessarily mean the literal combination of their parts. There are other factors to consider—for example, changing levels of knowledge over time. A similar example would be the use of ‘Oriental’ or ‘The Orient’. East Asia was originally called the Orient because 1) you went east from Europe to get there, and 2) people thought the world was flat, so if you went East to get there, then you couldn’t go West and get to the same place. At some point, we figured out that the world is indeed round and that, from the US at least, that region is actually closer to West than East—and yet we still understand what it means when a historical fiction novel talks about their 1920s Hollywood starlet going to the Orient, and indeed would be confused if that suddenly meant she was travelling to France (which is actually east of the US). Generally, once a word is in common use, we shift the definition to meet changing levels of knowledge, instead of shifting the word.

Third: Even if your literal interpretation of the ‘bi’ in ‘bisexuality’ was accurate (which it’s not), why does that mean men and women? Why doesn’t it mean men and nonbinary folks, for example? It looks like you didn’t think that particular definition through all that thoroughly, to be honest, which weakens your argument overall.

Finally: If you look at a thingby a total stranger which 1) is well sourced and obviously researched, 2) is obviously pretty personal to them, and 3) asks you not to do a thing, and your first response is “Hey I’m gonna do that thing!”? I really suggest not calling them your ‘dear friend’. It’s absolutely patronizing and demeaning to take such a familiar tone with a total stranger, and indeed it would be gross to take that tone with an actual close friend if you were doing so in the context of doing a thing that they’d already firmly asked you not to do (with actual research to back them up on why they aren’t OK with you doing it, even). Doing so is a good way to get people really mad at you really fast.

Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!

Alright, I will apologize for what I said. It was stupid to say everything I said and I accept what I’ve been told.

Look, now I learned something, isn’t that what this day would be for? Not to shout at people that do not know it better, but to explain it to them. I’m sorry for making everyone mad and I wish I wouldn’t have been that stupid but I can’t change it. I can just say that I will not do that anymore and that I’ve learnt from it but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down and actually talk to people, because this text actually made me calm down and understand, not the other accusations and all that mean stuff. I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!

Okay, so…I’m not really OK with you using my post as a way to knock down people who got angry at you. They were justified in their response—you said a patronizing, false thing, they told you that you were wrong, you kept insisting you were right about their identity (while not even being part of that identity), they got pissed, that’s entirely legit.

Then, tumblr user X reblogs your nice informational post. In their reblog, they tell you you’re wrong—that being aromantic DOES mean you’re totally incapable of love, for example, and if you’re not then you’re not aromantic and you should stop using the word. Or maybe they flat-out say that aromantic people don’t exist. You probably look at that and go “Okay, tumblr user X is being pretty nasty here, they need to step down and listen for a sec,” right? That’s how I feel about their response. Also I’m already kind of feeling like I want to punch them in the face for saying that kind of stuff about me.

So you reply letting them know that 1) their response isn’t acceptable, 2) they’re actually wrong and maybe should actually read your informational post, and 3) if they’re not aromantic then they really don’t get a say in what it is. You probably come off as irritated, maybe even angry, because probably you are—but there’s information available, in your original post and in what you’re typing. You’re doing your best.

And they escalate. They start getting pissed at you for telling them they’re wrong about aro people. They take your frustrated, irritated tone and interpret it as an attack on their entire person. They rant about how they have never and would never do anything to deserve that kind of attack. They don’t listen to you, don’t seem to have read any of the information you’ve provided, and are generally taking the whole conversation into a place that’s not only irritating and frustrating and hurtful (it was already those things, their original reply already brought in those things), but is also completely unproductive.

And then, to top it off? When someone who ISN’T aromantic replies to them with what is literally a rewrite of your original post with some extra examples thrown in, suddenly they’re all ears. They make a snide reblog at you about how this is how you ACTUALLY inform people (even though it’s just your original post in different words). They apologize for getting mad, but somehow turn that into a statement of superiority by adding on something along the lines of “See, I’m taking the higher road, why can’t you just do that, why couldn’t you do that in the first place?”.

Can you see how that isn’t appropriate?

Look, I’m glad my post helped you clarify why you were wrong. But it actually covered pretty much the exact same points as Solo’s original post—the one you originally replied to telling her that she and all the bisexual organizations out there are misdefining their own sexuality. I just included more examples and reworded things. The tone problem, the part with the anger and the attacks, that also started with you. You started your ‘correction’ with a very patronizing tone, proceeded to essentially stick your fingers in your ears and ignore all the people telling you that actually you were the misinformed one, and then acted shocked and lashed out when people started getting fed up with that. So while I’m glad my post helped you learn something, I hope you also look at their responses and try to figure out why your posts made people so angry. You’ve got a lot to learn there too.

I know I do!

But see, here is the thing. I wouldn’t care! And that’s why I can’t understand all of this! This happens so often here on tumblr! I see it all the time. So many of you are just overreacting so quickly!

How can you expect that people will understand you if you give them up so quickly and just be mean? Shouldn’t you be the better example? I told you, I know that I fucked up, I also said I understand and that I’m sorry! I said all of that and still you’re saying what I did wrong. I understand what I did wrong! I just don’t understand why people were reacting like that! It doesn’t take one short post to really make people who clearly have the wrong mindset to understand. It takes more than that! And if you don’t get that, then I’m sorry, you’re not in the position of calling people out on their mistakes!

You know, you just got my sexual orientation into this. Don’t you think I too had to defend myself a lot? Do you know what shit people say about aro-ace people too? But we can deal with it.

I really, really don’t want to sound mean to anyone again, but I really meant it when I said that you could try and handle such things different.

And please, keep in mind, that I KNOW I did something real shitty and I should feel bad about this, I do! I’m honetly so sorry for offending all of you! Someone just wrote to me and they were really nice. They were understanding and they explained me some stuff and that’s where I felt good. That’s where I felt like I learned something, like I knew what to do.

I didn’t wake up today and think “Come on, let’s offend some bisexuals!”, no, I just saw that post and thought with my infinite wisdom and years of Latin I would call someone out. Which was a dick move. And after the first response I still didn’t see it and suddenly after my second replay everyone freaked out! That’s not how I want this site to be! When I first started with tumblr I learned so much shit! Also about sexual orientations, believe it or not. About dealing with people, about accepting people, but nowadays it seems like everyone is just bitching at each other and I don’t like that. I’m sorry for using your post as a example for something I thought was good, I wanted to tell you guys that I am ready to accept what you told me and I still don’t understand AT ALL how this was a problem. It’s like you need to be mad at people. You told me how my behaviour seemed to be for others, I’m telling you this. Look, I could have just stopped writing but I wanted to let you guys know something, because it is important to me. People will always be shitty, but some people can be taught and you need to learn that! You need to forgive people that they never learned about all of this. I’ve never been taught any of this in school or at home, I learned a lot of things from this website but apparently it wasn’t all that right. So please excuse me if things like that happen.

This wouldn’t bother me at all. If someone said “Nah, asexuals/aromantics don’t exist” I would tell them about it. I would try to show them how it is and if it doesn’t work out then I would just let it be. That person isn’t important! Their also not aphobic or whatever you would call that.. Their just ignorant and they have to live with it. Why do you value other people’s opinions so much? I get it if I was a politician that would say “Bisexuality should be forbidden” then it could change your life to the worse, but I’m just some stupid little girl that you can teach something and imagine I would have just been going on with being mean and stupid and ignorant and shitty and you would have replied to that in the same way.. I would hate you! I would not see why I should accept you! So, again, I take all the blame one me! This one IS on me, but (there always is a but) you also are not perfect! Also try to take a look at your behaviour and maybe overthink it. That’s all I have to say!

via donnadellaforesta · originally by soloontherocks
pieandhotdogs:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.
Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.
So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.
Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.
We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.
Knock this shit off.
Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.
Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!
With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

Are you a bisexual?

1) Solo: I’m shocked that you’ve yet to bite their head off for the ‘my dear friend’ comment. Talk about a patronizing way to start a reply.
2) ‘My dear friend’ (aka thedoctorswand): Let me just say that I really hope you’re a troll. But in case you’re not…there are so many issues here.
First, you’re ignoring the definition of bisexuality according to pretty much every bisexual organization out there, the definition they’ve used going back to pretty much as far back as the word ‘bisexual’ was established. That’s bullshit in and of itself.
Second, you’re ignoring how word derivation works. Yes, ‘bi’ does mean ‘two’—but terms don’t necessarily mean the literal combination of their parts. There are other factors to consider—for example, changing levels of knowledge over time. A similar example would be the use of ‘Oriental’ or ‘The Orient’. East Asia was originally called the Orient because 1) you went east from Europe to get there, and 2) people thought the world was flat, so if you went East to get there, then you couldn’t go West and get to the same place. At some point, we figured out that the world is indeed round and that, from the US at least, that region is actually closer to West than East—and yet we still understand what it means when a historical fiction novel talks about their 1920s Hollywood starlet going to the Orient, and indeed would be confused if that suddenly meant she was travelling to France (which is actually east of the US). Generally, once a word is in common use, we shift the definition to meet changing levels of knowledge, instead of shifting the word.
Third: Even if your literal interpretation of the ‘bi’ in ‘bisexuality’ was accurate (which it’s not), why does that mean men and women? Why doesn’t it mean men and nonbinary folks, for example? It looks like you didn’t think that particular definition through all that thoroughly, to be honest, which weakens your argument overall.
Finally: If you look at a thingby a total stranger which 1) is well sourced and obviously researched, 2) is obviously pretty personal to them, and 3) asks you not to do a thing, and your first response is “Hey I’m gonna do that thing!”? I really suggest not calling them your ‘dear friend’. It’s absolutely patronizing and demeaning to take such a familiar tone with a total stranger, and indeed it would be gross to take that tone with an actual close friend if you were doing so in the context of doing a thing that they’d already firmly asked you not to do (with actual research to back them up on why they aren’t OK with you doing it, even). Doing so is a good way to get people really mad at you really fast.

Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!
Alright, I will apologize for what I said. It was stupid to say everything I said and I accept what I’ve been told.
Look, now I learned something, isn’t that what this day would be for? Not to shout at people that do not know it better, but to explain it to them. I’m sorry for making everyone mad and I wish I wouldn’t have been that stupid but I can’t change it. I can just say that I will not do that anymore and that I’ve learnt from it but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down and actually talk to people, because this text actually made me calm down and understand, not the other accusations and all that mean stuff. I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!

My answer:


I.. wow.. I don’t even know whta to say..!
I was honetly trying to be nice, I was honestly saying sorry, I honetly think I got the point of everything and you still..
I can’t believe this. Really, I can’t.. sorry, if you can’t accept my apology. I will not fight anymore! I really thought it was okay now,. That it was just one huge misunderstanding (and by misunderstanding I mean.. I was wrong..)
But I also thought you would maybe leave it and trust me that I’m being honest if I say something like that, that you would trust in me not being sarcastic and that maybe you could deal with it in a mature way and also take my advice that I gave you back, but..
if this is how all of this has to turn out then I just want to say a last “I’m sorry” to all bisexuals that I sure did offend with everything I said and I will from now on keep out of your businesses.. :/

"Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!""but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy"
"I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!"
Sooooo sorry that we might not take your apology that seriously when you riddle it with garbage like that. You came onto this post to police us, not the other way around. We’re under no obligation to accept your apology, especially not when you’re telling us how to react to someone erasing our identities with thinly-veiled sarcasm. So yeah


Honestly.. at first I was a upset, now I’m just amused.
Alright, go on with your “making the world a better place” in your weird way. All I can say is I’m sorry, I learnt something today and if that’s not enough, if you can’t be happy with a small step like that I can’t help it..
I will not bother with this anymore! I’m good, I’m gonna make myself a nice day. Good luck with getting acceptance that way!

pieandhotdogs:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

donnadellaforesta:

soloontherocks:

thedoctorswand:

soloontherocks:

Please leave this caption when reblogging.

Definitions of orientations MUST come from the people that belong to those orientations. Pansexuals and monosexuals do not get to define bisexuality. Bisexuals and monosexuals do not get to define pansexuality.

So knock it off with this “bisexuality is attraction to men and women” binary crap, because it isn’t true and it’s fucking annoying. And drop the “pansexuality is synonymous with bisexuality” crap while you’re at it.

Bisexuality exists; it is the attraction to multiple genders. Pansexuality exists; it is attraction to all genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality overlap. Pansexuality is a more specific term synonymous with a specific subgroup of bisexuality. The desire for a more specific term for your orientation is legitimate. The desire to have other people recognize that just because the linguistic prefix of your orientation’s name suggests two does not mean your orientation is nonbinary-phobic is also legitimate.

We are allies. We are the closest related sexual orientations out there. We should be working together to fight the very real issues we both face, and the issues we each face individually. Instead we’re bitching about fucking dictionary terms.

Knock this shit off.

Note regarding pansexual definition: as far as I am aware the definition listed above is widely agreed upon by pansexuals. HOWEVER I would very much prefer to cite an “official” pansexual organization rather than someone’s personal blog, but I am unable to find one. If someone can provide me such an organization, I will edit the above image to include it.

Now can we drop this infighting bullshit and focus on the real goals? Namely, destroying monosexist prejudices beneath our exquisitely-booted polysexual heel?

ACTUALLY my dear friend, bisexuality IS the term for being attracted to men and women, the prefix “bi” being the Latin word for “two” and though according to current definition, gender can’t just be split into male and female, this still is the term. Bisexuality= being attracted to men and women. The thing that you just described, is better known as polysexual, which means being attracted to most genders!

With everything else I am completely fine and supportive of! :)

Are you a bisexual?

1) Solo: I’m shocked that you’ve yet to bite their head off for the ‘my dear friend’ comment. Talk about a patronizing way to start a reply.

2) ‘My dear friend’ (aka thedoctorswand): Let me just say that I really hope you’re a troll. But in case you’re not…there are so many issues here.

First, you’re ignoring the definition of bisexuality according to pretty much every bisexual organization out there, the definition they’ve used going back to pretty much as far back as the word ‘bisexual’ was established. That’s bullshit in and of itself.

Second, you’re ignoring how word derivation works. Yes, ‘bi’ does mean ‘two’—but terms don’t necessarily mean the literal combination of their parts. There are other factors to consider—for example, changing levels of knowledge over time. A similar example would be the use of ‘Oriental’ or ‘The Orient’. East Asia was originally called the Orient because 1) you went east from Europe to get there, and 2) people thought the world was flat, so if you went East to get there, then you couldn’t go West and get to the same place. At some point, we figured out that the world is indeed round and that, from the US at least, that region is actually closer to West than East—and yet we still understand what it means when a historical fiction novel talks about their 1920s Hollywood starlet going to the Orient, and indeed would be confused if that suddenly meant she was travelling to France (which is actually east of the US). Generally, once a word is in common use, we shift the definition to meet changing levels of knowledge, instead of shifting the word.

Third: Even if your literal interpretation of the ‘bi’ in ‘bisexuality’ was accurate (which it’s not), why does that mean men and women? Why doesn’t it mean men and nonbinary folks, for example? It looks like you didn’t think that particular definition through all that thoroughly, to be honest, which weakens your argument overall.

Finally: If you look at a thingby a total stranger which 1) is well sourced and obviously researched, 2) is obviously pretty personal to them, and 3) asks you not to do a thing, and your first response is “Hey I’m gonna do that thing!”? I really suggest not calling them your ‘dear friend’. It’s absolutely patronizing and demeaning to take such a familiar tone with a total stranger, and indeed it would be gross to take that tone with an actual close friend if you were doing so in the context of doing a thing that they’d already firmly asked you not to do (with actual research to back them up on why they aren’t OK with you doing it, even). Doing so is a good way to get people really mad at you really fast.

Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!

Alright, I will apologize for what I said. It was stupid to say everything I said and I accept what I’ve been told.

Look, now I learned something, isn’t that what this day would be for? Not to shout at people that do not know it better, but to explain it to them. I’m sorry for making everyone mad and I wish I wouldn’t have been that stupid but I can’t change it. I can just say that I will not do that anymore and that I’ve learnt from it but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy and try to calm down and actually talk to people, because this text actually made me calm down and understand, not the other accusations and all that mean stuff. I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!

My answer:

I.. wow.. I don’t even know whta to say..!

I was honetly trying to be nice, I was honestly saying sorry, I honetly think I got the point of everything and you still..

I can’t believe this. Really, I can’t.. sorry, if you can’t accept my apology. I will not fight anymore! I really thought it was okay now,. That it was just one huge misunderstanding (and by misunderstanding I mean.. I was wrong..)

But I also thought you would maybe leave it and trust me that I’m being honest if I say something like that, that you would trust in me not being sarcastic and that maybe you could deal with it in a mature way and also take my advice that I gave you back, but..

if this is how all of this has to turn out then I just want to say a last “I’m sorry” to all bisexuals that I sure did offend with everything I said and I will from now on keep out of your businesses.. :/

"Oh hey look at that! There ARE nice ways to explain something!"

"but I also want to tell you guys that you should maybe try to not always be offensed that easy"

"I would appreciate if you’d take my advice just like I will take yours!"

Sooooo sorry that we might not take your apology that seriously when you riddle it with garbage like that. You came onto this post to police us, not the other way around. We’re under no obligation to accept your apology, especially not when you’re telling us how to react to someone erasing our identities with thinly-veiled sarcasm. So yeah

Honestly.. at first I was a upset, now I’m just amused.

Alright, go on with your “making the world a better place” in your weird way. All I can say is I’m sorry, I learnt something today and if that’s not enough, if you can’t be happy with a small step like that I can’t help it..

I will not bother with this anymore! I’m good, I’m gonna make myself a nice day. Good luck with getting acceptance that way!

via pieandhotdogs · originally by soloontherocks
Anonymous asked: "P.S.- Your about me thing should say "website" instead of "webside.""

Now this is what I expect from an anon ask!^^

posted 3 weeks ago
Anonymous asked: "Also, you're playing the victim now. Get over yourself. Stop being an ignoramus."

I’m not playing the victim, what the hell?!

Dude, I apologize for accepting that I was wrong. Sorry, will never happen again. What do you want me to do? Say that I’m forever right and stick to something that I discovered was wrong..?

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you.. I never meant to play the victim! I wanted to tell you guys that there actually are people who can learn from what they are told..!

Jesus Christ, you got propblems.. and I do not mean any sexual orientation!

posted 3 weeks ago
Harry Potter - Hogwarts Emblem